From the Requiem, by Anna Akhtamova (1889-1966)

Not under foreign skies
Nor under foreign wings protected - i lay

naked
exposed
still
cold
alive to sounds of death around me

unfeeling
deaf
immune
comatose
dancing to tune of the last dirge

unbound
soaring
escaping
leaving
imprisoned by memories of the living

Not under dark clouds
Nor under any pressure to perform - i sang, silently.

(done by avinash subramaniam as an exercise where you take the first two lines of a great poem and ruin it with personal mediocrity.)

Space

it was inviting
it was warm
it was snug
it was moist
it was sweet
it was comfortable
it was bloody
it was fecund
it was hungry
it was open
it was mine
it was waiting
it was perfect
it was a trap

Space

whateveryoudowhereveryougowhereveryouare
whoeveryouwanttobewhateveryouwantobuyor
sellorfallinlovewithoroutoforintostopstart
gointhebeginningtowardstheendinbetweenthe
factofthematteristheworldmakesnosensewithout
s p a c e

The Loner

displayed in a museum
nestled in our memories
seen in history books
talked about wistfully
reduced to a relic
considered very rare
a blast from the past
a cover blown away
something to be treasured
fodder for the greens
eradicated by man
replaced by industry
preserved in a glass
the last blade of grass

Mind matters

a chimp i mistook for a lion
instead of green i see cyan
wanted to go to paris
ended up in zion

water that flows backwards
gravity that pulls upwards
chasing the company of people
ended up in a world of cowards

travelling without moving
shaking without stirring
settled in for a quiet even
ended up in a piteous whining

chasing a chimera
analysing a kookoburra
watching a game of cricket
in the company of psychedelia

a trip through my fires.

red, blue, green and a million others
colours is all i see
staring from where i am
everything looks bloody crazy to me

pink, white, magenta and orange
the shades are beginning to blind me
lemme pop in a few more
and stir that brew i call soul curry

violet, black, black and more black
the images are beginning to look dirty
what kind of fucking trip is this
think i've had one too many

golden, brown, blue and one too many
i can't take more of this wild imagery
life is a good enough trip
experimenting with acid ain't in the least bit funny.

Present tense 2

forget the past
let go of the sense of deja vu
dump what happened last
for, as we speak, time is passing through

don't wallow in memories
stop searching for long lost clues
don't get caught up in a whirl of sorries
for, as we speak, life is passing through

no point talking about yesterday
why let the excess baggage accrue
tomorrow is a brand new day
for, as we speak, today is passing through

so what if the shit hit the ceiling
enjoy the freshness of the morning dew
don't let what's happened leave you reeling
for soon the future will be upon you.

Present tense

this is line 1
this is line 2
this is line 3
this is line 4
this is line 5
this is line 6
this is line 7
this is line 8
this is line 9
well, what do you think
of this avant garde poem of mine?

The nutty professor

The smutty orator
The guy the neighborhood knows
As the notty professor
Wanna see him slobber?
Just wiggle your butt
Then run for cover
Before he asks you to lick his nuts

Aaargh! He’s disgusting
Always talking about poking
Everything is a come on
Walks around with a permanent hard-on
Nothing is too dirty
Dammit! The bugger is sixty
What he needs is a Bobbitt
The guy makes me vomit
His obsession is smut
All he does is bark, come lick my nuts

When he’s not teaching
He’s looking up skirts
He’s never teaching
He’s always got his eyes in a girl’s shirt
I hope he never dies, just suffers
Talk to him over tea
Everything ends up sounding dirty
Shake his hand, he’ll stick his boner
He’ll pretend to be moody
Just so you get closer to his woody
With an unholy talent
To quickly unzip it
At the drop of a consonant
Yes, the old boy is witty
He could shame the Kamasutra
He must be on Viagra
How da heck do I no all dis brudda??

So, I sucked the notty professor
I sucked him till he cried
He’s just a bunch of nuts
A dick head stuck in a rut
Gave him a BJ
Made his day
Told him da problem with talking dirty
You end up having to wait till sixty
Then I fucked the notty professor
Put an end to Mistah lick my nuts
Told him it was all karmic
Job done, grrrrls!
I’m the new Bobbitt!
No more notty professor
No more class of smut
There lies the old bugger
With nothing to replace his nuts
Heck, it was all karmic
You go grrrls!
Now, let’s all on him vomit

Bang, bang, you’re dead!

Blown out of our minds
Let’s prance around naked
Be my nature’s child
You were born to be mounted
Fuck me in paper and kind
Sometimes with panties
Nothing more fancy
Put your pussy on the line
Open wide, let it my cock divide
Soak its throbbing head
Deep within you, inside inside
You suck, we fuck, I suck, we screw
Down to the last drop of thy beetlejuice

Make your legs my noose
Purr for me my horny muse
Between high tits my dick will snuggle
Violate you digit by digit with my bare knuckles
Strip you down to your beaver hair
Parted lips, shaved fair…oh my fucking, wow!
Enough talk, time to sink the laden dhow

Creak, creak, creak, creak
Bang, bang, our knees feel weak
Creak, creak, creak, creak
Bang, bang, prepare for the next peak
Creak, creak, creak, creak
Bang, bang, it’s your turn to be meek
Creak, creak, creak, creak
Bang, bang, your deep throat still hasn’t been fed
Creak, creak, creak, creak
Bang, bang, baby you give the best head
Creak, creak, creak, creak
Bang, bang, Honey, we really need a new bed
Creak, creak, creak, creak
Bang, bang, Honey, did you hear what I just said?
(Gunshots) Bang, bang, fuck!
Oops, looks like I just shot the bitch dead!

Mr. India

Where’s your accent?
This is not supposed to be the way you look
You don’t seem Indian
Nothing like the one in my book
Your women are educated
Your clubs are a blast
Your music kicks ass
Your films are just as crass
You fuck with our minds
You want our jobs
Just try not to fuck with our women
They prefer white knobs

You do not ride an elephant
You speak English
You do not look like a trinket seller
Where is the rope?
Where is the turban?
Where is the snake?
What happened to the monkey?
Where’s my stereotype?
Hey Indian, you gotta live up to the hype

Mr. India Mr. India
Where are you my Mr. Exotic India?
I smell no attar
I see no chai tea
When are you going to light up a bidi?

Mr. India Mr. India
Where are you my Mr. Exotic India?
Please say Namaste
Is your name Gandhi?
Why does your name not mean curry?

Not about 911

Write about September 11th
Yet another ditty about 911
Bring out the drum synth
Call on the great one
Milk the moment
Crank out an emotion
It’s ok to lip sync
Flog beyond redemption
Try and make it pithy
Be careful not to be too witty
Throw in some pity
More easy money for the kitty
Say you’re at loss for words
You don’t know how to react
That it curdles your innards
Osama is a pedophiliac
Hunt him down
Hound them out
The response has to be full blown
Take the whole religion out
Two wrongs make a right
We have the might
We must fight
Why bark when you can bite
We never cared a dime
It never happened to us
There’s always a first time
Is there a way to look for a plus?
A time to understand
Link with an ampersand
The rest of the world & Islam
So we know it’s not just about some Emam

It’s pretty obvious
To those who care and feel
Nothing contentious
This is just a song for a meal

To sing about 911
Is just as absurd
As putting a jolly tune
To this bunch of words

Silence 2.

where's my breakfast?
where's my bag?
where's my underwear?
hurry up with the food
bend over, i want to fuck
get ready, we're going out
it's time you quit your job
wake up stupid
jump, higher
press my legs
clean the fridge
go to sleep
give me a blowjob
and that's the only time she ever opened her mouth.

Silence.

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Confessions of a lost soul

i am strong
like ambuja cement
i stand tall
like the Petronas
i am unshakeable
like a hummer
i am smiling
like a toothpaste model
i am perfect
like fair and lovely
i am the coolest one
like the iPod
i am the providor
like in a perfect marriage
i am definitely male
like the bajaj pulsar
i am untouchable
like the d-company
i am the emperor
like the emperor with no clothes

Am i ok?

i'd like to say yes
i don't want to say no
i would be lying if i said yes
and pathetic if i said no
so i won't say anything
'cept, thanks for asking.

i'd like to smile
i don't want to frown
it'd be disingenuous if i smiled
and pointless if i frowned
so i won't do anything
'cept, thank you for asking

i'd like to be up
don't want to be down
but i don't want to fall
and can't seem to climb
so i won't hope for anything
'cept wish you weren't just asking

i'd like to say yes
i don't want to say no
i would be lying if i said yes
and pathetic if i said no
so i won't say anything
'cept, gosh i can be depressing.

damn it!

damn!
the human race.

damn!
me.

damn!
all the women who've fucked with me.

damn!
the voices inside my head.

damn!
the inner voice.

damn!
my vivid memory.

damn!
memory.

damn!
the idea of us as social animals.

damn!
this life.

damn!
the next life.

damn!
life.

damn!
the truth.

damn!
there is no way out.

damn!
the beginning of it all.

damn!
there is no end.

damn!
the end.

Maia

Till death do us part.
i swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth.
i love you.
no, your butt looks great.
i expose only when the scene justifies it.
life is beautiful.
forgive and forget.
love conquers all.
set her free and she'll come back to you.
but i love you!
not tonight darling, i have a headache.
God is great.
advertising.
inside my head.
it doesn't matter how you look.
and that's the truth
i believe you.
happily ever after
but i love you!!
the fairy tale continues...

the crow

the lines don't seem to come
the mind's an unholy mess

the crowd inside my head
only seems to grow
while i struggle in vain
waiting for the words to flow

perhaps i need some coffee
something to jumpstart the process

turn on a light bulb
that will make the idea glow
and i continue to struggle in vain
waiting for the words to flow

why is it so hard to think?
why is it so hard to share?

why does it seem so much easier
to leave it for the morrow?
damn! how i struggle in vain
waiting for the words to flow

staring at a blank page
grappling with drivel

unable to express anything
without sounding,oh so, shallow
ah, now i see why
it's all thanks to a noisy crow
cawing away
tirelessly
endlessly
noisily
enthusiastically
persistently
patiently
impatiently
jumpily
flightily
efficiently
on my living room window.

La-z-boy

Don’t go for broke
Take time out for smokes
A couple of long tokes
Maybe even a quick poke
I need no toy
TV is just a ploy
Everything else a decoy
Now go get me my la-z-boy

To speed is silly
I think I’ll take a while
If there’s a short-cut to Italy
Why go the extra mile?
Don’t make me hurry
I’ll do it later
I never scurry
I always take the elevator

You change the channel
You get the door
Let’s watch this drivel
Who cares if it’s a bore
Why choose to do
When you can just get by
Nothing’s all I want to do
Doing something is so dry

Don’t make me move
This is the way to be
I think I’ve found my groove
Life is nice and easy
It’s not that hard
I’m having a blast
I’m the lump of lard
I never go too fast

Take numbers one to nine
Get ahead of me in every line
It’s too much work to whine
Don’t worry a whit about me
Time is not money
Things are never too slow for me
I always wanna be free
So just let me be

Don’t go for broke
Take time out for smokes
A couple of long tokes
Maybe even a quick poke
I need no toy
TV is just a ploy
Everything else a decoy
Go get me my la-z-boy
Everything else a decoy
Where the fuck is my la-z-boy?