Jingle bell, jingle bell
Prepare for marketing hell
Tis' the season of selling
Dat time of da year again
When Fadder Christmas is coming
So get on da ho-train
Feel the consumerist woody
Better be goody-goody
Little kids, hear here
Dere's much to fear
‘Cause Good old Papa Claus is here
Be very staid, and afraid
Eat all your vegetables
Improve your grades
Learn your math tables
Never leave your bed unmade
Stay away from being moody
Realize, life is one big trade
Better be goody-goody
Little kids, hear here
Dere's much to fear
‘Cause Good old Papa Claus is here
You want a red bicycle
An irridiscent yo-yo
A year's supply of popsicles
Your holidays in slo-mo
More RAM for your computer
A motor scooter
Weekends of no study
Better be goody-goody
Little kids, hear here
Dere's much to fear
‘Cause Good old Papa Claus is here
Didn't get what you want?
Maybe it was out of stock
Don't like the colour?
Santa's such a load of crock
Never asked for this big soup bowl?
Throw it all the way back to the North Pole
Papa Claus is a nobody
Dere's no point in being all goody-goody
It's just mommy and daddy dear
And da Christian way of instilling fear
